Building Connection


Kat and Katie

I never fully realized the impact my farm would make connecting people with people. It dawned on me at a recent wedding of one of our friends, who had once stayed at Kumu Aina. Looking over a group of guests at the wedding and seeing them laugh, dance and talk to each other made me see none of them would ever have met if it wasn’t for our farm. Maybe that’s the way a great-grandmother feels when she looks at her great grand children. Kudos for me, I guess, for not birthing my own people, but making close connections from existing ones somebody else gave birth to.

When we moved to Hawaii, we left many, good friends. I missed them and I wanted to share my new life with them but they were so far away. It didn’t take too long before I found new friends. The thing that surprised me was some of them really reminded me of my old friends. Is there some set of qualifications I unconsciously use that helps me decide who I’ll make friends with? I started thinking that it was more likely that people are very much alike and perhaps we all have personality doppelgängers out there.


Lauren, Iggy, Kelsey, Devan and Rosey

Lauren, Iggy, Kelsey, Devan and Rosey

Another thing that struck me very odd, is that my two very best friends remind me of my family. I didn’t notice this until many years after I met them. About five years ago, my best guy friend came to visit and when he started to talk and interact with my farm, I saw my sister in him. In addition, at the recent wedding, my best girlfriend did the same thing. It makes sense that we look for familiar traits, like ones found in our family, in our friends.  So, realizing that my two very best friends, act just like my family made me slightly baffled. Especially since my family and I (even though I love them) aren’t particularly close.

Recently, my cousin, posted on facebook that she was going to move to an island and live in a hut. I liked her status and commented to come join me. She never “liked” my comment, which led me to believe, she may have changed her mind. I heard (through the grapevine) my dear aunt inquired to my family if I was still a hippy. At first, this kind of made me defensive considering I’m a farmer. But then again, I live in a hut on an island. My friend recently pointed out that I was in fact a hippy, we all were, because we have shunned the mainland and drink real coconuts, not ones out of a bottle or box.

Chelsey, Kathleen and Krista

Chelsey, Kathleen and Krista

In Hawaii, we have a term “coconut wireless,” and it happens when you are thinking of a person and they show up or call you. Or you feel them and call them and they were just thinking of you. The other day, I thought about calling my hanai daughter and inviting her over, but for some reason, her laundry popped into my head. I decided she must have a lot of laundry with four kieki (children) and didn’t call. Later that day, she called me and said she had just finished doing her laundry. Who needs phones?

As I’m writing this article, I got a private message from the first ever work trader to stay on my farm some 12 year ago. He moved to Kauai, Hawaii, many years ago. We live somewhat parallel lives, as he also is a farmer and has cows. I see him on facebook and sometimes comment but we haven’t talked in years.  He just now sent me his phone number and he asked me to call him to catch up. I think I’ll end this blog and give him a call. Aloha!

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